His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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