I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
