was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
