I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
