dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
