There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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