His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
