I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
