he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
