what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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