Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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