I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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