I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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