Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
