Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
