I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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