You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
