covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize