My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
