You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
