dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Someone came in the potted fern
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
wow bdsm is so cute
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
