hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
