I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
