guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
