I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
