i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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