Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
