I looked at my own cervix.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
