next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
