I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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