She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
