what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
