"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize