Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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