there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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