...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
