Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
