Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
