She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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