found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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