god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
