Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
