I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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