I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I didn't notice because vodka
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
