Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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