if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize