16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
