You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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