found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
