Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
