accomplished twins. life is a go
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
