we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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