when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
