...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize