y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
