i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
