Barsexuality is the new black.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
