I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am full of burrito and curiosity
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
