I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
