she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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