We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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