I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
