He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i love accidental penises.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
