The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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