i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
