dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my shit smells like andre
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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