How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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