That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
