I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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