I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
