His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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