she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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