the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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