Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
