there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
