Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
