Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize